Rena's Mom
by Tsunderellah
Summary: Has got it goin' on. Super crackfic. Move along.


**Yo, Elderps. Long time no see. Gunpowder's still being in the process of being written- I'm about halfway the next installment- but since I've been hitting so many writer's blocks and falling through so many plot holes, I'm starting to get demotivated. SOOO. To keep the writing juices flowing, I wrote a one-shot. Woot. Don't worry, GP's not gonna get cancelled. My muse is going to make sure of it- *stares at a Chung***

**Anyway, this next story is a drabbling one-shot. It contains teens, teenage mentality, teenage hormones, and general teenagery. Therefore, it is rated T. If you get offended by sexually suggestive writing and the like- then do not read. It contains mentioning of activities of the male imagination, the male genitalia, and the most fascinating thing for teenage boys: a female homo sapien's humps. If you do not like reading about such things then hold yer horsies and go back click. Save your brain.**

**But if you don't mind, then read on~I dare you.**

**Lots of loves,**

_**-Llah~**_

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**How Many Licks to the Center, by Tsunderellah**

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"Oi, Raven. You comin' over this afternoon? Elboy already said he is." My seatmate and best friend nudged me softly, breaking me out of my French-class-induced coma. The teacher, a bald cranky man that gets distracted by nothing other than the latest hockey news, glared at us with his trademark glare. I hid my face, the typical reaction for students subjected under such a ridiculously paralysing gaze, but the gorgeous Rena, possibly the most beautiful being in the school, smiled at him apologetically, with the perfect, pouty lips of an angel. The teacher could only stare back in confusion-as he does every time. But who wouldn't? She's breath-taking. Girls look up to her and envy her, boys fap to her image day and night- she's the perfect girl. She has the perfect 36-24-36 figure, has seductively pale skin free from any blemishes and akin only to the finest silk; large 38D cup breasts to bury your face unto; brilliant, lustrous blue eyes that would put the most valuable sapphires to such utter shame; glossy full lips; long, fine strands of gold hanging prettily from her head to the small of her back…did I mention her giant melons? If that doesn't make you want to make sweet, hard love to her, then her rapier-like intellect (unbeatable since we entered high school- always gets the principal's award, given only to the one who has the highest grade in the level) her kind, sweet personality, and the fact that she's the cheer team's leader and a swimclub member would most definitely sweep you off your feet. She was the Madonna of the bleary environ of Velder High School, the only educational oasis in Elrios. Everyone worships her, there's no question of that.

I looked at her, busy scribbling down notes from the board, occasionally glancing up, the afternoon rays of the sun came in from the blotchy, grey windows and danced upon her head, producing some sort of divine aura. Everyone, pretending to be glancing at the clock above her head, drooled over the reflection of the sun against her skin, making the milky suface glow. The teacher noticed this and tried to regain his class's attention, but the final bell signalling the end of the school day, reverberated through the air, starting a chorus of sighs, scrapping chairs, bags zipping, and feet shuffling out the door. Rena tidied up her books, chucking them into her backpack. She then looked at me with those piercing ocean eyes and said "You're coming, right?"

"Course, _Weena_," I replied, smirking as I saw her face scrunch up in mock anger- she hated her 'nickname' which had stuck ever since she introduced herself to me when we were in preschool. "…I wouldn't miss it for the world."

She grinned, her glossed lips framing her perfect white teeth. Any man would truly be insane to not fall for her, for her angelic gorgeousness, her beautiful soul, for her unrivalled wit.

I've already branded myself to be a lunatic.

"Yeah, we still have to finish off our last fight. My Night Watcher will definitely tear your Blade Master's asshole apart." She jested as we made our way through Velder High's labyrinthine halls and to the awaiting yellow sardine packs called buses.

"Pfft, as if. That slow, cheap-ass character of yours will be the death of your SSS-rank reputation." I scoffed, remembering her character, a Night Watcher of epic proportions, as it danced through my screen last night, deadly as it was pretty. My Blade Master took such a beating from her elf, and only managed to win because Rena had to quickly go off and do a chore for her mom. Though, I have to say, I'm not that bad. I do know how to fight- newbs don't really last long on me, but damn. She gives me a run for my money. About a couple of months ago, she and I started playing Elsword, an online role-playing game as a way to basically blow off steam from the stress of being a teen in today's time. We got hooked, and still are. Her, much more than I. She spends about three hours playing daily.

There you go guys, a gamer girl. ** You're welcome.**

"Raven, if anything's cheap, it's your core. Only reason you made it up to the SSS." She taunted, that evil, sexy glint in her eyes showing. Oh man. If I was a normal young man, I would be having a raging boner right about now.

But I don't.

I've told my male best friend, a certain red-head with pyromaniac tendencies, about my apparent problem. He first concluded that it was because I was totally homosexual, 'cause no straight man could resist her, apparently. However, after setting me up with a gay man he knew and the date failing miserably- with him leaving with a gigantic, fist-shaped bruise on the side of his face- he decided to try other methods and after much planning and observing, he came to a conclusion- and damn, it was a shocking outcome- but I knew deep down that that was exactly it; he hit the nail straight on its ugly head.

We made it to the school parking lot, the buses lined up in front of us. I was about to bee-line for Rena's bus, but she took my hand and stopped me, probably earning me a few glares of disapproval from the guys watching us, 'us' meaning Rena and my hand.

"Forgot to tell you, my mom is picking us up." She said, smiling. I swear a choir of angels just broke out in song.

I nodded, trying hard to look very indifferent. I looked for my friend Els, to stop myself from staring. I found him near a bus, yelling at a purple-hair chick who yelled back at him. He felt my glancing at him, and he turned to look. Hurling one last indistinct remark at the girl, he ran towards me and Rena.

"Sup,beches?" He greeted, grinning; slapping my back.

"Nothin' much, Els. Forgot to tell you, my mom's picking us up."

"Oh, is she now…" I heard Els mumble, an elbow nudging me. I rolled my eyes and ignored him.

"Oi, Elboi, wanna join me and Raven later? We gonna spar and…" Rena's voice floated about as I zoned out for a moment, staring at the humanity suffocating me with their presence. Teenagers were everywhere, as expected of a high school, but the undeniable stench of testosterone hung in the air as guys of all shapes, origins and grade level stared. It was starting to trigger my claustrophobia when…

"Oooh! There she is!" Elboy suddenly exclaimed, his finger pointing at a chic blue convertible rounding the corner and entering the parking lot. My eyes immediately snapped towards the direction where he was pointing, and was rewarded at once at the sight of blonde hair flying in the breeze and those striking blue eyes emphasized by the red frame of her sunglasses.

Oh god, there's the raging boner I was looking for earlier.

"Hey guys! You been waiting long?" Rena's mom chirped as she stepped out of her car, her musical voice penetrating the barrier I put up to control the teenage hormones raging within me. I heard Els snicker behind me as Rena hugged her mother, shaking her head. "Naw, mom. We just got out." She said as she hopped into the front seat.

"Ah, good. I just came home from the gym a couple of minutes ago. I was sweating so much that I had to go home first, have a shower and change. Raven, you're coming over too?" she asked. I could only nod as I took in Rena's mom's features. She was shimmering slightly, from light perspiration. Her blonde hair hung between her delicate shoulders, the two strands framing her attractive bespectacled face were tipped with brown, making the two shorter strands look like ears- fox ears to be exact. She was wearing a blue-to-green gradient tube top piece, too long to be called a shirt, too short to be a dress, with a pair of baby blue jean short shorts. She was sucking on a lollipop, a cherry one, I think. I watched the red ball of sugar disappear into her mouth, only to reappear a few seconds later. I felt Raven Jr. twitch.

Ah, fuck. So tempting.

Els called it some sort of mutated variation of the Oedipus syndrome- except that's not my mom, she is Rena's and dear sweet El lady, she's all that I want. Her ex-husband, Rena's dad, walked out on her to be with another woman- an actress in Elderwood who is now serving some prison time for snorting cocaine in her spare time. He is insane to leave a woman like her. She was the hottest thing I have ever seen.

I still remember when I first had a crush on her. I was in fifth grade, and I came over Rena's house for the very first time. This was around the time I _**thought**_ that I was in love with Rena, goddess's gift to mankind. We came in and had a snack in their kitchen and went outside to play on Rena's new swing set when, in my peripheral vision, I saw her mom, the lady that greeted us at the door earlier, crossing the garden with only a towel on. That was also the place where I got my first embarrassment over a hard-on, since Rena, unaware of the male body's functions, screeched when she saw the demon in my pants rise. Rena's mom chuckled and smiled. I believe that she thinks I got a hard-on from watching her beautiful Rena, but… oh god, just remembering it sets me on edge. The curve of her breasts, the luminescent pale skin…

Ever since that day, I've been dreaming of her- at first clad only in a towel, as I had seen her, but as I grew older, my dreams- be I awake or asleep, has become more and more rated 18+. I imagine kissing her lips, feeling her soft, hot skin against the palm of my hand, pulling her hair in the midst of love-making- the list goes on. You could say that I'm just horny for her, and that like her daughter, no man could resist her charms. But I also wanted to take care of her. I sometimes volunteered around the house, cleaned up the kitchen, mowed the lawn for her- anything that'll make the load of being a single mom, lighter. Of course she thought that I did those things to seem valiant to her daughter, but she's the reason why I do it. Rena's mom is the one that motivates me to work my hardest in school, so that later on, I can provide for her and Rena. Just the thought of me and my two beloved ladies- my best friend and the woman of my dreams, living in the same house, makes me giddy and high.

"Raven, you coming? Or do I have to throw you in?" Rena's mom pulled me out from my reverie, winking at me as she spoke. I felt a shiver crawl through my body, what little blood my head is receiving redirected to my groin. I scoffed in discomfort. I could hear Els chortling in the back and Rena giggling, her laugh floated through the air like tinkling bells. I hopped over the door and unto the backseat, next to El-dork, watching with dire pleasure as Rena's mom started the car and drove off, her cherry lips reflected in the side mirror.

I know it might be wrong but, I'm in love with Rena's mom.

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_Love it? Hate it? I do give a crack! :o Reviews are cuddled and flames are aero-strafed. OP Grand Archer says: don't flame, kids!_


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